Goldrich begins by first educating us about ADHD.
She reconceptualizes ADHD not as a deficit of attention, but rather as a deficit of executive function. It is for these reasons, Goldrich suggests, that we should be careful how we frame ADHD to our children.
Goldrich also emphasizes the need to create calm. And if calm is the foundation upon which the home is built, Goldrich explains, then connection should be the core.
It is through connection that we show our children that we believe in them, often by focusing not on reducing distressing behaviors but on what works. Citing Carol Dweck on developing a growth mindset, Goldrich tells us that effective praise is comprised of three Ns: Other ways we can build connection are through taking an interest in our children and learning about their interests, goals, and dreams.
With a solid connection, we can then build communication.
Jericho: I am a loving, caring, understanding and sincere lady with a kind heart who is looking for love. I can be the most delicious dish for you if you are my second half. I am dreaming sometimes but at the same time I`m down to earth.
Goldrich reminds us that rewards and punishments often backfire. For what does work, Goldrich points to the work of Daniel Pink, author of Drive, and suggests that we use autonomy, mastery, and purpose to help our children feel independent, competent, and connected.
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Much of this mutual trust is achieved through being clear and consistent. And once children are able to self-regulate, we can establish meaningful consequences.
Exploring the use of consequences as a motivator, Goldrich explains that potential consequences serve to motivate behavior when a child can anticipate the impact of his actions, when he cares about the outcome, and when he is response-able.
Making these consequences effective, however, also depends on our own ability to maintain calm and to retain the loving connection and collaboration we have built with our kids.
We must not always try to prevent failure, she writes. Failure is sometimes vital to development.
Instead, we can advocate for our children, requesting additional services through the school system using an array of resources in the book. Want to buy the book or learn more?